The Obsession With a Perfect Relationship
If you are in a relationship, then this article is for you.
If you are single- better read this article before committing yourself.
Being in a relationship is a major change in your life. Not only do you have the burden of added responsibilities, but the pressure of expectations from the one you love.
We all have seen a romantic movie or read a romantic novel. The characters seemed to be perfect. Ideal entities. No matter how thick the fog is, their love seems to shine through it. The male protagonist is a perfect gentleman and the female protagonist seems to possess every quality we aspire to see in our significant other.
Well, we are not here to discuss the storyline of these movies/novels. What we are really interested in is the effect these stories have on us.
We, as humans, are naturally gifted with the traits of jealousy and the desire for an idealistic environment. We all want the best. Best here does not denote something which is best for us, no. It denotes something that others consider to be the best or ideal.
Social media has changed the meaning of love. It is now something which is confined to late night conversations and adoring chats. Even if we don’t like Good Morning or Good Night texts, we still expect to receive them because this is something we consider to be an ideal aspect of every relationship.
We are deeply obsessed with being an ideal match. What we want things, people, relationships equally perfect, favourable to us. We fail to understand that we are imperfect. Our partner is imperfect. It is their imperfections that we are supposed to compliment and condone in a relationship. It is these imperfections that make a duo a couple.
The adulation of perfectionism in a relationship is actually driving a wedge between two happy entities. The hypothetical concept of a perfect couple is setting standards which are difficult for us to attain in real life. Not everyone can afford to give expensive gifts on special occasions. Monetary sentiment can never an indicator of love. We need money for survival not for love.
A lot of people think that an ideal person for them is someone who knows exactly what to say to them in a given situation. He/she should never, I repeat never, hurt them. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Humans are supposed to make errors. Nine times out of ten, we say the wrong thing at the wrong moment or fail to speak the right thing at the right moment. We hurt others, we break hearts. It does not mean that we are evil because we go to great lengths to placate the ones we’ve hurt. This is what relationships are all about- making mistakes but trying to undo them.
Relationships grow in an environment of trust and understanding, both of which are subjective. It varies from individual to individual. If the couple you admire has a certain level of understanding or trust, it doesn’t mean that you and your partner will be compatible with those settings.
Perfect relationships are there. In fact, every relationship is perfect in its own way. What is wrong is our obsession with the fact that perfection is something that the majority does. No! Perfection in a relationship is what feels right to your heart, what makes your soul smile. If your heart beats or your soul shines when he/she is around- it is perfect. Be obsessive about that and nothing else.