A letter of forgiveness and remembrance, I wrote to myself

Forgiveness and acceptance letter, mindful,

Dear you,

Do you know you are allowed to forget? Yes, you heard it right, today, you are given the privilege to delete all your bad memories.

Just walk along with me…..

You are allowed to forgive your wrongdoings. Things you messed up in life, plans you left without executing, and sorrow you have endured.

You are allowed to forgive anything and everything about him, the moments you yelled for help and nobody answered. The time when you desperately needed people to bring you into the light, the nights when you were tossing in your bed to steal one glance of the moon in the dark.

You are not the sum total of your mistakes, failures, and traumas. Why are you holding all these? Will the time you prove yourself wrong come back to you to rectify? Will he come back? Surely not.

Once things are passed, there is no other way around; they are passed forever.

The only option you are left with, is to forget.

Forgiveness isn’t about erasing what has been.
It’s about meeting your past with open arms, whispering,
I see you. I understand now.”

Just be angry with yourself, slap tightly if required, but don’t let the pain make a secret abode in your heart. It’s too expensive to live there.

Allow your heart to beat to a different tune, sing lovely rhymes, stop playing that melancholy song.

You are allowed to leave behind who you were. You are allowed to move with confidence, leaving behind self-doubt and let-downs in the past. You no longer need to hide your scars; you are allowed to forget the story behind your wounds.

Shed the memories that hold you from being the real you.

You are allowed to throw away each label that has been engraved in you by the world around, making you feel weak and stigmatized.

You are allowed to forget about fear. About the things you shouldn’t do. The filthy words of people who backstab you, who try to pull you down. The night when you cover your mouth and choke discreetly. You are allowed to shrug off the trauma of caution, of doubt, of deliberation that lingered inside your chamber of mind when you feel paralyzed about moving.

You are allowed to take off the barbs that are protecting your heart from further damage because you aren’t required to carry them on.

You are allowed to let the past wither or die.

This is not your present self.

So, you have forgotten a lot; what are left to remember there?

Forget everything but remember the lessons you learned along the way.

Remember the days when you pulled yourself out of bed with tumescent eyes, wiping your tears,  when you lifted yourself after a massive fall. Remember when you fought with your mind and let your heart cherish the victory. Remember your ability to prevail.

You kept calm and confident when you were least expected.

Remember the people who were there to catch you to stop falling. The time when you were breaking apart, and someone’s heart held you together. Who refused to stay away from you on that gloomy, stormy night?

Remember the amazement, the integrity, the portion of the time you spent in celebration.

Remember the love. When you were cloaking your whimper and everything else was falling apart in your heart, understanding the depth of your every breath, how people around you cuddled you.

Remember the moment when you were barrelling down the wrong path- and something stopped you along the way. When you lost your hopes and a tiny ray of sun, when you were least expecting, allure your face, and you allowed that to be your motivation. You went ahead in life.

Remember that life goes on……

Yourself.

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