I Always Want to Be The Better One, But That Doesn’t Stop Me to Be Happy
I am the one who never follows rules, who refuse to tame others, who always listen to voices of her spirit. I eternally focus on the next move, next place, the next destination. I am the one who gets up at 3 Am to answer the most unsatisfied questions. What should I do next? How to make the most of my time? Am I living the life I want to live? Am I happy? I don’t have a feeling of completion.
The moment I wished, I dreamed, I achieved, the search for the next big thing starts. I might have the infinite attraction to what I have not discovered yet.
Yes, I am the curious, the biggest curious. I never stop questioning. A part of me always roars and whisper me to leave the comfort zone I am living in. That part of me has the courage to go out to explore the unexplored path that doesn’t let me sit down patiently. That makes me conquer every situation, every problem I face in my life. That knows I have all courage and potential to make the impossible the successfully possible. That part of me doesn’t know how to settle down.
I am not unsatisfied with the one I have, it just that I seek more. It doesn’t mean, I don’t value what I got, I don’t celebrate my victory, don’t give the present a fighting, alluring chance. I believe in pushing my limits, extend my capacities, learning that I don’t know yet.
I live with outstretched hands; always carving for more adventure, more opportunity, more change and more intrigue. I want to be somewhere else. I think that this isn’t my place, the life I am living is not me, is not the real me. I meant for a place where I can spread my wings far above the sky. Unless I find that destination, I know I won’t sit still.
Sometimes, I think, I should change, be like everybody, to satisfy with the things I am given, to fit in. But my brain, my instinct, my intuition, to be too much than too little, to fight and lose than not fight at all pull me back in my reality.
But one thing, I find, I need to decide what enough is less for me. I need to decide how far I want to push myself, how long I want to carve for more how extent I want to go.
For people who can relate to me, you are unique, you have a special purpose in life. Yet, you have not found that meaning but one day, you will make a discovery. You know that life has something special stored for you. Sooner or later, crawling your way through, you will reach your destination. That day, you will create a history.